One year to improve.

Because I am way too tired to type it all out again. It’s going to be weird because it’s actually going to be copy/paste so if I’m responding to someone, it might be confusing. Oh well.

April 19th
Has anyone here known someone with breast cancer and see what they’ve gone through? I’ve researched but I’ve found little information that’s helpful for me, either because I just plain out fail at researching or I’m kind of scared to do so. Reason I ask is because my mother recently told me about a lump she’s had on her breast for four months, without telling ANYBODY, then went to the doctor and well… they’re pretty sure she has breast cancer. She’s seeing a surgeon tomorrow.

A lot of things have been going on besides this, with me basically going back to home schoolin’ since my concussion symptoms are still acting up (probably will be for the rest of my life at this rate) and money issues… and now this. I find it hard to relax with all of this going on, so I guess I’ve come here to seek advice from a different point of view, though I don’t expect anything ground breaking or life changing. Something would be a lot nicer than nothing though.
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PSU: That does help a bit, thanks. I’m really really hoping that it’s not cancer, but the pictures from a mammogram that she had show the lump and it’s quite large. There’s also something going towards her lymph nodes. It’s really just scary to me. My family hasn’t had the best of luck and when things happen, they all seem to happen at once and everyone is on edge and overwhelmed. I keep a mindset that things could be worse, but even so, it’s still a lot to take in since I feel helpless to do anything.

April 20th
Well, today was kinda rough. She went to the doctor who we thought was going to do the biopsy, only to find out that the tumor she’s got is a bit larger than what they’d like, and that depending on the type of breast cancer it is, she’ll most likely have to go through chemotherapy to shrink it. That, and while they probably could’ve done the biopsy today, my mother is extremely stubborn and would not do it without being put to sleep. I can’t say I blame her though, I’ve read up on it and heard my aunt talk about it as well, and from that, I hear it hurts like a bitch.

Fshuhdif. It’s a good thing I’m not really going to school full time right now. I don’t think I’d be able to handle this all very well.

April 23rd
My mother has now decided that she doesn’t want to go do chemo and just go straight for a Mastectomy. Her reasoning is that she doesn’t want to go through months of just pure suffering and not being able to do much and she also doesn’t care for her breasts anyways.

I don’t know what to think about this.
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She does smoke and she ‘tries’ to quit, but she always ends up smoking again and she claims it’s her only stress reliever. She’s been doing it since she was like 12 or so and she’s in her 50’s now. She doesn’t see the point of quitting.

Now I don’t know what’s final and what’s not, but next Friday she’s going to have a biopsy and they’re having her spend the night at the hospital for observation. So much is going on right now, it’s hard to keep my head on straight.

May 21st (A lot happened and I neglected the topic for a while because I really hadn’t and still am not focusing on computer and crap)
Hope surgery has gone alright for your gram, PSU.

My mom had her biopsy some time back and she does have breast cancer. It’s a bit of an aggressive type that they want to attack with chemo, but my mom really does not want to go through all of it because of every single side effect that could happen and how ‘oh it’s different for everyone’ but everyone that she’s talked to about chemo (doctors, people who’ve gone through it, etc) has been the same way, sick and the medicine not helping. She also doesn’t want to go through it because they said that they could take a big part of it surgically through masterysiudhfsdomny(braindied) and afterwards she would be willing to go through a little chemo. Another reason for that being, even if she does go through chemo, she would still need surgery, and after chemo her recovery rate would be extremely slow vs. surgery before chemo, when she’s still healthy enough to have a decent recovery rate.

I’m not sure when that’s all going to happen but this past week and continuing on, she’s going in for a lot of tests to make sure it hasn’t spread or anything. It’s really wearing her down, as well as me. So I think I’m going to have a nap.

Today
Well, I found out that her cancer hasn’t spread, but it’s still aggressive and it’s attacking healthy cells. She went to the hospital yesterday to get her port put in and apparently woke up when they were putting it in. They were supposed to put her to sleep, a deep one because she isn’t very tolerant to pain, but apparently they didn’t do that. This is the same surgeon who put band aids on her when she had her biopsy. She had a bad allergic reaction to it and told the surgeon, as well as wrote it on every single medical paper she had to fill out that band aids would do that to her and that paper tape was the way to go.

She also got very sick last night after she took the pain medication that they gave her. Told me that she woke up in the middle of the night and was in tears because she was in so much pain and felt so sick. I felt terrible about it because I couldn’t do anything. I’ve been rather sick the past few days, and now my dad has it so that’s even worse that we’re the ones that have to take care of her. I don’t want her to get even worse, so I’m doing the best I can to keep all hygienic and cleaning the house and everything I can.

Bleh. She was supposed to go back to the hospital this morning for chemo-teach and then her first treatment, but because she felt so bad, she’s going in the afternoon.

I really wish I could drive so I could go to the store and get her some light things she could eat that would maybe settle her stomach. So much is going on still. ):

FFFFFFFFFFF.
Also, yesterday, I got my hair cut with my mom for the first time in my life. They took off sixteen inches. My hair that was past my ass is now resting on top of my shoulders. Combined with my mom’s fourteen inches, we’re going to get a wig made for her.

I should probably write a passage for fmylife.com.

-Redi