It all comes down to this.

Life has been one big giant mess of just blargiugdfuishfusdh and yes. Nothing has been going right and basically this is carried over angst from the last post, but with more.

I’m back to homeschooling now, with the exception of going to two of my classes because I can’t really do chemistry at home really well without the visuals and I might as well get the credit for my web design class instead of just dropping it. I’m not sure what’s going to happen since it is rather late in the year, and for that sole reason I wish I’d said something about what’s been going on with me to someone here earlier, but I’ll deal.

That all seems small though when I think about what’s going on with my mom. It’s almost official now that she has breast cancer. This… man, just on top of everything, why not have cancer too?

I’ve talked to a bunch of people about it and they reassure me everything’s going to be okay, breast cancer has the highest survival rate. I know, just I can’t help but be worried sick, because my family’s luck isn’t the best. It never has been. Hell, and my mom talks of just flat out giving up a lot now, so I can’t help but worry more if she’s in that mindset.

To be completely honest, I try to just sort things out in my head, but I can’t figure anything out. I’m really conflicted about everything that’s going on and it’s takes just about everything I got to not break down and just want to disappear. I guess I’m going back to my ball of angst stage. Just when I wanted to improve, too!

-Redi